Vegas 2012-Day 4

Day 4: Pawn Stars


I had meant to visit the Pawn Stars pawn shop the last couple Vegas trips and had never made it. Luckily Mon had recently gotten hooked on the show so she was equally interested in seeing the store. I’d heard through various sources to not expect much. So I had fairly low expectations going in, and the store barely met those. The store is very small and there really isn’t a lot of merchandise. Except for the Pawn Stars logo stuff, which takes up a good chunk of floor space. I guess the business has survived this long because they know how to strike when the iron is hot. The souvineers are way over-priced, but who is surprised at that? I walked out with a set of coasters with the Pawn Stars on them. I think Mon left with pens. She was disappointed, but glad that she went as we also met Vegas Lou. Vegas Lou owns a shop next to the Pawn Stars and he’s been on the show several times. His store looks like it should be on an episode of hoarders. You have to walk carefully to avoid causing an avalanche. Lou is a good guy and he chatted with us for awhile. He claims he hasn’t been on the strip in over 20 years, which is strange as his shop is located on Las Vegas Boulevard. You could make an argument that he’s on the strip every time he goes to his shop. Nevertheless, I was impressed to see him manning the store on a Sunday morning.


We rode the Deuce back to the hotel and Mon had the opportunity to sit by a crazy person. She (the crazy person, not Mon) had a shopping cart containing large signs. And this crazy lady was wearing pink, fluffy slippers. She (again, the crazy lady and not Mon) spend the entire time on the bus talking into her phone. She hit on all the pressing topics of the day including the government, religion and insurance. Mon decided to record her with her phone, probably hoping she could really set her off. I pretended like I didn’t know either of them.


When we returned to the Flamingo, Mon and I went down to the pool to join the wife and Nene. I had leftovers for lunch for the 3rd day in a row. The girls did well by securing a prime pool spot with chairs right next to the water. I hung out for a couple hours before leaving them to gamble some more.

Another of my Vegas things to do that I hadn’t done yet was to sit on the patio at Olives in the Bellagio to eat and watch the fountains. The problem is there are only about 6 tables out there and everyone else has the same idea. They don’t allow anyone to reserve patio seating, so we needed to be there early. My reservation was for 5, which is when they open. I walked over about a half hour early and was 3rd in line. The rest of the group joined me shortly after, however it felt like forever.

The wife and I had eaten at Olives a few years earlier and loved it. This meal didn’t disappoint either. The food was great, the service was spot on and we couldn’t have asked for better weather to be eating outside. For me, it was the highlight of the trip.

After we had over-stuffed ourselves we wandered down to the Mirage to see the volcano erupt. It’s definitely worth seeing, however since it’s the same every time I’m more impressed by the fountains. After the volcano the ladies were ready to call it a night, even though it was only 9 or so. I decided to try to see the Sirens at TI. I’ve always heard it’s not worth seeing, but I wanted to make sure. I determined it’s mildly entertaining, however it takes way too long. The show runs about 25 minutes. It would have been fine at 10 minutes, by 15 minutes I was checking my watch. Also, it gets really crowded. Maybe that’s because there is a limited viewing area. Bottom line is the volcano and the fountains are way cooler and you don’t have to crawl over people to see them.



Day 5: Heading home

I recall almost nothing of the path home. I know we got up early and took a cab. The flight was on time and the weather was crappy when we landed back at Peoria. And I remember the drive home sucked. I also decided Day 5 didn’t deserve its own post.


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Vegas 2012-Day 3

Day 3: Downtown

The girls didn’t get up early enough to get a good spot at the pool on that Saturday.  It was compounded by fact that Flamingo decided to throw a private party at one of the pools.  So the only pool open to the public was packed.  We headed toward downtown that evening with no real plans of where to eat.  I pride myself on at least knowing what options are available in Vegas, but I’ve always found food options Downtown to be very hit and miss.  We wandered through Golden Nugget for awhile and found a sushi place called Red Sushi. 

I went really conservative on the sushi as I didn’t like the idea of throwing up for the rest of my trip. I had what I would consider the equivalent of a smashed chicken nugget on rice. It was fine, but nothing spectacular. The rest of the group were more daring and apparently their food was phenomenal. Lesson learned, I need to branch out a little.

We wandered around downtown doing all the usual things. We listened to some live music, saw a light show, bought some cheap souvineers and did some meth. You can probably figure out which of those didn’t happen. We also saw the pool at the Golden Nugget with the water slide that goes through the shark tank. I’ve gotta admit, that’s pretty cool. We met up with the rest of the group and I think it was the only time we were all together. One of the guys was a self-proclaimed “gambling expert” and insisted everyone should play blackjack at a specific casino. He also had a camera in his fanny pack that was approximately the size of the Hubble telescope. Needless to say, I didn’t heed his advise as I know a thing or two about blackjack and I never trust a guy with a telescope hanging around his waist.

My primary reason for wanting to go downtown was the zipline that now runs under the canopy. I had done my research and all indications were it wouldn’t be a long wait to do it. I guess that depends on your definition of a long wait. It was an hour after buying tickets, and the line for tickets looked to be at least a half hour long. I shelved that idea for another Vegas trip.

Our subgroup had seen about enough of downtown so we caught a cab back to the hotel. We figured Carlos and Charlies would be a good choice again. One of my normal routines is to try to talk to cab drivers. It’s typically easy to determine which ones want to talk and which would prefer silence. The guy that drove us back seemed to want to talk and it appeared he had a grasp of the English language. Here’s how my conversation went:

Me: So, how long have you been driving a taxi?

Driver: (silence)

Me: Have you been driving a taxi very long?

Driver: I like it.

Me: So how long have you been driving?

Driver: I like it.

Me: Do you gamble much?

Driver: I like turtles.

I may have made up that last line, but the rest was 100% true.

Carlos and Charlies was a bit more subdued that night. Stupid party guy wasn’t there, I actually saw him in the sports book looking very disappointed. I’m no expert, but I’m guessing he wasn’t winning. It turned into a fairly early evening as the wife and Nene had committed to getting up really early to wait in line for the pool. I guess they are way more interested in pool seating than I.



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Vegas 2012-Day 2

Day 2: Mon arrives and makes up for lost time We weren’t exactly up at the crack of dawn on that Friday. We got over to McDonalds sometime before 9 and had a quick breakfast. Then the wife and I headed over to Stage Door to pick up some provisions. I got the usual, a 2 liter of Mountain Dew and a 12 pack of beer. Then it was time for us to part ways. Nene and the wife headed to the pool, I went gambling. I cashed an NBA winner and wandered the strip for awhile. I wound up at Aria and stumbled upon what would become my new favorite machine. It’s called something like “Heads up Texas Hold’em” and as the name implies you play hold’em against a computer. You can also make bets as to whether you get certain hands and at what point you’ll get these hands. I stuck with playing the hand and not placing side bets. The strategy worked well, I was up about $30 in no time. The computer is an extremely aggressive and loose player. My strategy was to dump mediocre hands and take as much as could from the computer when I had a decent hand. There was no point in being aggressive and matching the computer’s strategy as the computer wasn’t going to get intimidated to leave a hand or get bluffed. I got a text while playing that our other friend, Mon, had arrived at the airport. I was going to meet her at Flamingo and get a key from Nene so she could get to her room without having to wait in the endless check-in line. I double-timed it back to the Flamingo and in the process tripped going up the stairs by Harrah’s. In my defense, I was wearing flip flops while drinking. I was fairly embarrassed, but I figure no one that saw me knows me. Of course, there was no reason at all for me to rush as I beat Mon to the Flamingo by at least a half hour. She had made the mistake of taking a shuttle that stopped at basically every hotel on the strip. Mon was a little loopy when she arrived, although she claimed the shuttle ride sobered her up from the 3 Bloody Mary’s she had on the plane. So being completely sober, she decided to make up some ground. We headed down to the pool where she decided to drink all the alcohol. The wife and I left the pool around 4 to get ready for dinner. Nene and Mon stayed for awhile to see if there was any alcohol left to consume. I texted Mon when were ready to find something to eat. The replies I received gave me the impression Mon was pretty well loaded. And things were happening in their room that needed to stay in Vegas. The four of us met up with another couple for dinner. We settled on Carlos and Charlies, mostly because it was located in the Flamingo. It became fairly obvious when we sat down that Mon wasn’t going to make it through dinner. Or if she did, there was a good chance we’d see her eat dinner in reverse. The wife and I made the executive decision that Mon should sit this one out. I herded her back to her room, and at one point she asked if we were in our hotel. She proceeded to pass out until the next day. We finished dinner, which was good but not great. We wanted to hit a few sights that night so we headed over to Bellagio. We were in the conservatory when the rest of the group got out of Seinfeld (us in the low roller party didn’t have $140 each to drop on tickets) and wanted to meet up for drinks. We set a course for the Piano Bar at Harrahs, and it was packed. So we checked Carnival Court-packed. There was a table available at O’Sheas, however it was directly in front of the speakers for the evening band. After one round there we decided to go back to Carlos and Charlies. Turned out to be a good move. Me and the one other guy in our sub group went with the 100 oz. pillar of beer that came equipped with its own tap. After sitting for awhile this guy, whose job is to keep the party going, stopped at our table. He had a bottle of some unidentifiable liquor and he proceeded to pour it down the girls throats. Then he brought around beer and tried to pour it down my throat. Now I am a man of many talents, but suppressing my gag reflex isn’t one of them. Which I don’t think is a bad thing. So due to my lack of skills I wound up with a fair amount of beer on me. Kinda decided I didn’t like party guy after that. Read more on this article...

Vegas 2012-Day 1

It appears that I haven't posted on this blog in almost six months. I don't think that labels me as a bad person, but you can judge for yourself. Day 1: Getting there still isn’t half the fun I’m not going to do the full run-down of everyone that went, but suffice to say we were part of a large group. There were about 15 people in 4 different hotels, so the big turned into smaller sub-groups. Our group was the wife, Nene, Mon and me. Nene, the wife and I flew out of Peoria, IL (Mon flew out the next day from our local airport), which is 2.5 hours in the wrong direction. The price was in the right direction, it cost us over $200 less than using our local airport. Car ride was uneventful except for Nene’s excessive gas and the need to stop for a crap halfway there. In my long history of road trips I’ve never stopped for a crap, especially not after only an hour in the car. The airport was nice, it looks like it has been recently renovated and they don’t charge for parking. The dude in front of us checked a bag containing 3 bowling balls. I found that to be a bit odd. The flight out was late, bumpy and noisy. There was a group directly in front of us going out for a wedding and, despite being in their forties, acted like they were 22. And they drank like Vegas had run out of alcohol. We got to the Flamingo and the line to check was about 4000 people deep. We waited for awhile until I noticed four empty kiosks. I assumed they were to check in, so I slipped out of line to make sure. They were, and they were being manned by a very helpful older gentleman. It took some time to get them to work properly and assign rooms, but I still saved 30 minutes of precious Vegas time. The weather was a bit chilly when we landed, so the girls voted against the pool and instead we went to Margaritaville. We ordered some big ass nachos and drinks while waiting for a few others to join us. We were shortly joined by 4 more and ate while planning the evening. We settled on going to the Venetian to walk around the Grand Canal Shoppes, then meeting up with the rest of the group for drinks. Coolest store we walked through was It’Sugar. It specializes in oversized candy and other inappropriate edible items. For instance, they sell candy cigarettes. I thought those had basically been outlawed years ago as they encourage children to smoke. Apparently they are not frowned upon in Vegas. They also sell 2 pound rice krispy treats and tootsie pops as big as your head. We wandered around for awhile until we were informed the rest of the group was at the pub. My initial response was there is more than one pub in Vegas. I can think of two off the top of my head, one in Monte Carlo and the other in Aria. I was hoping they were at the one in Monte Carlo, that place has a phenomenal and reasonably priced beer selection. So naturally, they were at the one in Aria. I had been to the Pub at Aria on a previous trip and was underwhelmed. Food is average and over-priced, drinks are priced for people in a higher tax bracket than me. My friend assured me they had $2 draws. We came to find out the $2 beer was their house beer, which tastes remarkably similar to ass. We did find Innis & Gunn on the beer list, which is almost impossible to find. It was also the favorite beer of my brother-in-law, who had died very suddenly the week before. We ignored the $12 price tag and the wife and I toasted Erik. Maybe I have to quit hating the Pub at Aria. We left the Pub with another couple and went to Dick’s Last Resort at Excalibur. We bought one of their 44 oz slushy drinks and set to getting loaded. It’s not the best people watching on the strip, however it is entertaining to watch who staggers through Excalibur around midnight. By the time we finished I thought we might have received the virgin variety. We headed back to Flamingo with a light buzz and a dragging ass. And yes, I’m aware that I said “ass” about 12 times already. Read more on this article...

Always room for improvement

The family has been immersed in "A Christmas Carol" for the last month or so. My oldest is in a community theater production of the timeless classic. I've seen the performance 3 times in the last 4 days, so I feel like I'm in a position to offer some suggestions to freshen it up.

1. The Tiny Tim character is a bit depressing. He goes from being a scrawny kid with a limp to a scrawny kid without a limp. Everyone celebrates like it's some kind of miracle, when in reality he probably just sprained his ankle. I propose trading out Tiny Tim for Spud Webb. He can go from blowing out his ACL to dunking over Scrooge.
2. More swearing. Scrooge shuffles around with his signature "Bah, Humbug," but what if he channeled his inner Samuel L. Jackson? Nothing spices things up like a few f-bombs.
3. Fewer Christmas Carols, more Lady Gaga songs. Then again, maybe not. She's crazy.
4. Midgets.

In closing, I'd be remiss to not mention the star of the production. Mady was the consummate professional through the late night rehearsals, multiple role changes, and agreeing to play a boy. She hit all her cues and from everyone we talked to in the cast was very impressed with her. And she requested I mention her in this blog because the online review didn't mention her by name. I informed her that being a "street child" usually doesn't warrant a mention, but I would be glad to include her in my review. Well done Mady.
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How not to fix a garage door opener

My garage door opener croaked last week. I did the responsible thing and called a local business to fix it. It appeared to me that the chain was loose and just needed some adjustment. They came out the next day informed me the main drive gear was stripped and I’d need a new opener at a cost of almost $500. Well, it’s only about 6 years od so I decided to do some investigation. I found the gear that needed to be replaced for $8 online. I also needed the part that tightens the chain (the turnbuckle) as it had broken while I was trying to tighten the chain. Total cost plus shipping was under $20. I could tell the wife was a bit skeptical that I’d succeed in this repair adventure.

It started out ok. I had the opener disassembled so all I needed to do was replace the part and re-assemble. The gear was easy to replace, then I had to thread the chain and tighten it. That was a little tricky as it’s a lot chain to squeeze through some tight spots. I got it tightened and all I needed to do was adjust the door so it would open and close correctly. Problem is that is a lot more difficult than it looks. I had to keep starting and stopping the door manually to make sure it didn’t go too far. Unfortunately I didn’t react fast enough and the sprocket that I had just replaced tried to eat the turnbuckle I had also just replaced. The result was the turnbuckle broke again and I said a lot of bad words with my 4 yr old son looking on in disbelief. After composing myself, I surveyed the damage and realized I still had a part that I could use to fix it again. I went back to threading the chain through while cursing just under my breath. I was looping it around the sprocket when the chain got away from me and hit the exposed circuit board. That wouldn’t have been a problem if I had remembered to cut the power to the opener. The opener made a audible pop and the lights went out. Naturally, Zach was still in the garage with me but luckily he didn’t freak out. I made my way to the door and brought Zach inside to find a flashlight. I reset the breaker I had tripped, but the opener still wouldn’t power up. I don’t know exactly what was wrong with the opener at this point, put I was pretty sure I was not going to be able to fix it.
I had one more shot to get the opener fixed yet that night. My next door neighbor had stopped by a couple days before because he heard my garage door opener was broke. He informed me he had one just like mine that I could have. He replaced his with a belt drive opener and the old one was free to a good home. I thanked him for the offer, but said I had parts on order and I thought I could get it fixed. Which is why after fighting my broken opener for over an hour I called up my neighbor to see if the free opener offer still stood. Within 15 minutes of my calling him I had an operational garage door. And I felt like a complete idiot for not taking him up on his offer earlier. I do plan on paying it forward. If anyone is interested in a fried garage door opener, I have one available for the low price of free to a good home.
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Parasailing-Marco Island

Parasailing looks exhilarating from the beach. Unfortunately, it’s not as cool as it looks. You go way up the air, but it doesn’t feel like you’re that high. That’s probably because there isn’t any scale. Water looks the same size no matter how far away you are. The other boats in the water looked small, but they weren’t very big to begin with. I’ll give it a 2 on my “was it worth it scale?” I can’t see myself doing it again, unless I can do it for a lot less that the $80/person price tag this came with.

I went up with Abby and her friend Avery. A lot went into that decision. At first it was just Mady going with her friend Belle. Then Abby said she wanted to go, but Avery didn’t so I was going to go with Abby. Then Avery decided she would go. We thought we were set and just the four girls would go in pairs. Then we found out the two younger girls weren’t heavy enough to go by themselves. Our next idea was for the siblings to go as that would have taken care of the weight requirement. Of course, they didn’t want to do that because they are small women and prone to be difficult. In the end, I went with the lighter girls. Partially to help them reach the weight requirement, partially to but their nerves at ease, and partially because I’ve always wanted try it. And because they are siblings, the older girls made me and the younger ones go first to try to freak us out. Thankfully that backfired.
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