Adventureland: Reservation for 23

We’ve made it a tradition to go to Adventureland every summer. We typically invited several other families to join us, and most turn us down because, well, it’s Adventureland. It’s not exactly Disneyworld or Six Flags. It’s not the happiest place on earth. The employees are either high schoolers or geriatrics that made questionable financial decisions. Well, this year was different. Everyone we asked wanted to go to Adventureland with us, and then some. Our headcount grew to 23, spanning 6 families.

The traveling group got off to a bad start that day. We were first on the road and took the roll of running blocker, just like in Smokey and the Bandit. It didn’t work quite as well, maybe that’s because we were driving a minivan instead of a Trans Am. Despite us notifying the rest of the vehicles of a smokey at mile marker 201, one of the group still got pulled over. Maybe we should have used CB’s instead of cell phones.
We arrived a couple minutes before the park opened and my oldest daughter tripped and scraped her foot before we even got through the gate. As soon as the park opened, my 3-year-old son Zach and I made a bee line to the bumper cars. My oldest daughter Mady split off to go to another ride, but before I even got on the bumper cars she was coming back crying. Her knees were bleeding, but that wasn’t the real problem. It was abundantly obvious that she had broken the middle finger on her left hand.
We took her to the first aid (which was run by 2 old guys that have made bad decisions) and they used their advanced medical knowledge to proclaim that she might have broken her finger. Or maybe it was just dislocated. Or it might just be a hangnail. My wife and one of the other mothers were directed to the local urgent care clinic and I stayed with the other kids. We were hoping they would put it in a splint and send her back to the park, instead the said she needs to see a specialist. The wife drove her home, and we were down to a group of 21. (Post script-she’s doing fine, the specialist straightened her finger and she got a new pair of shoes for not freaking out during the procedure.)
I spent a good portion of the rest of the day with Zach, who tried to set a record for most bumper car rides in one day. And there was an incident in the men’s room (get your mind out of the gutter). Zach had to go to the bathroom, so I took him and I went to the trough. I assumed he would go to a stall as he’s a bit on the short side. Instead, he followed me to the trough and I mentioned he might be a little too short. He didn’t listen or didn’t care, as he dropped his drawers and proceeded to pee right into the side of the trough. He fruitlessly tried to aim higher, then decided to turn 90 degrees (thankfully away from me) and pee directly onto the floor. I did nothing to stop him, it had been a long day and there wasn’t anyone else in the restroom. Hopefully the cleaning crew visited that night.
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